18 Women of Color on What "Self-Care" Looks Like in the Age of Isolation

Let’s get this out of the way—the coronavirus crisis has drastically altered the course of all of our lives. In one way or another, everyone has been impacted by the pandemic and no one will be the same once it has finally run its course, whenever that may be. For many of us quarantining, isolation has become synonymous with house arrest. (Cue: the meme of Arthur's D.W. clinging to the fence with a pang of longing.) As someone who previously identified as a homebody, even I feel completely different about staying inside for long periods of time now. Adjusting in real time to a “new normal” can be difficult to navigate, especially when we’re still in the midst of processing and accepting what's happening in the world.

Figuring out how to take care of ourselves during these times is a daily battle, with many people and brands now preaching the message of "self-care." This mainstream version of self-care is often associated with a highly-commercialized version of wellness that involves a cart full of products and buying into the "Eat, Pray, Love" mentality—a privilege that's not accessible to all. These days, you'll find everything from books, like The Little Book of Self-Care and Sacred Self-Care, to journals and planners, all telling you the "right" way to self-care. Many of the businesses that have capitalized on the idea will claim that self-care is their biggest priority not just for appealing to consumers, but as a strategy for shifting company culture. Last year, SXSW incorporated “self-care activations” into the festival through partnerships with brands like Chillhouse, Love Wellness, and Shhhowercap to "elevate the experience" for attendees. While this modern, luxurious version of self-care can be comforting to some, it can also feels white-washed, privileged, and unattainable.

The term "self-care" is actually a medical concept that was later reintroduced by Audre Lorde in 1988 through her book, A Burst of Light. At the time, the iconic activist and author defined it as a radical and political act of self-preservation, stating: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare.” In the midst of a global pandemic, the concept of self-preservation feels more important than ever. As Amanda Hess recently stated in the New York Times, “As our health care system buckles under the strain of the virus, and citizens are isolated at home, self-care has never felt more urgent.”

With this increased attention on public health, self-care has taken on a new meaning—especially in the wake of a pandemic that disproportionately affects racial minorities. Ahead, we explore what self-care in the age of isolation looks like to 18 women of color—how they define the term for themselves in the wake of a pandemic, and the ways they self-soothe during this uncertain time. Sit back, settle in, and read their thought-provoking words ahead.

Zoey Xinyi Gong, Traditional Chinese Medicine nutritionist, chef and consultant

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"It means to be aware of our physical and emotional self. It means to understand what we truly want, regardless of the expectations from others or social norms. It means to learn to be our own Buddha."

 How do you feel about the way in which self-care has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing. Commercial products that use self-care as their marketing strategies do put the idea into consumers' head and encourage them to make some effort for themselves. 'Commercialize' seems to have a negative connotation, but I think a socially responsible company that produces great products can be a really wonderful tool for people. However, if 'self-care' is used carelessly by some brands to falsely market an expensive product that is not authentic or of poor quality, then I think it is a very sad thing. As far as I've seen, it is not uncommon in the nutrition world."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"First, I make a Traditional Chinese Medicine concoction that boosts immunity and prevents the flu. I drink that twice a day. Second, since I'm mostly sedentary right now (my bed is very soft and tempting), I try to stretch every morning and do some classical ballet exercises in the evening. Lastly, I started painting. This is something I've always wanted to do but didn't have the time or courage to do it. Now it is the perfect time and I'm absolutely enjoying it!"

Trinity Mouzon Wofford, co-founder of Golde

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"Self-care to me is all about discovering and implementing the routines that help you feel your best. It could be going for a walk or trying out a new face mask. I definitely believe in self-care. It's a newer phrase, but the idea of creating healthy systems in your life so that you are physically and emotionally well has always been the tenet of humanity."

How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"I think with everything in life, we need to seek balance. Not everything you're seeking can come from buying stuff, but there's also nothing wrong with investing your money into something that helps you feel like your best self."

How are you practicing or applying self-care into your own life at this current time? 

"As a busy entrepreneur, one of the best forms of self-care for me is staying organized. So, I do my best to write a to-do list every morning that I work my way through so I don't get overwhelmed. Bubble baths are nice too, though."

Lorely Rodriguez (Empress Of), musician

What does the term "self-care" mean to you? Do you believe in it as a concept?

"Self-care sometimes gets an eye roll from me because it’s been so misused for marketing purposes. I think everyone needs to give themselves a little time to recharge the battery—to check back in. That’s what I do when I self-care. I believe that as a society, we put so much pressure on each other and ourselves to 'do the job' that we forget about the simple things. It’s a term we invented to remind ourselves to be kind to ourselves. 

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"The thing that makes me feel the best is making coffee in the morning and burning palo santo. Just doing that reminds me of being in control of my life. Obviously we love a full blown beauty moment, a mask, a wine, a movie, but it’s the simple things for me. If I forget to do that I really feel I haven’t taken care of myself."

Fariha Róisín, author of How To Cure a Ghost and Being In Your Body

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"Self-care means healing the things you previously didn't want to (or didn't think you could) heal. To me, it means doing the self-work to show up in this world. That might mean being gentle with yourself or working on how you perpetuate toxicity. I think everyone should practice it."

How do you feel about the way in which self-care has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"White women and capitalism can be a lethal combo, and that's what we've seen in the commodification of self-care, but there's still a chance to do the work to correct. It's important that we lead by example, not just critique. If we want a society that is well, we must invest in our own wellness."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"I'm checking in with myself; I'm holding myself accountable for my own happiness; I'm making sure that I follow my heart and not my ego."

Naj Austin, founder & CEO of Ethel’s Club

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"I define self-care by asking myself a simple question: 'Will this bring me joy?' I believe the concept needs to be reframed in a way that is accessible to all. Black women and women of color probably need a self-care practice more than anyone—however, this doesn’t (and can’t) always look like a spa day or vacation."

How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"I think the commercialization of self-care and the creation of modern wellness spaces—they immediately became very white spaces. This is slowly starting to change as more people of color are speaking up and creating their own products and companies from not feeling seen or represented in today’s self-care economy. In building Ethel’s Club, it was always important that we made the wellness aspects of our space something that our communities could access and identify with. I think mental health and wellness should always be at the forefront of that process."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"Right now, self-care looks like a walk around my neighborhood, cooking a challenging new recipe, dancing in my room to a playlist that I love. I’ve been spending time going inward with myself and practicing kindness and gratitude in self-reflection. And just remembering to drop my shoulders, breathe, and tell myself that everything is going to work out."

Kaya Wilkins (Okay Kaya), musician & model

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"My idea of self-care is wearing a sheet mask while smoking a cigarette. Self-care or self preservation through isolation has been of the essence for me, which now feels ironic. Now I talk to friends and my mother and try to drink really good coffee."

Naomi Shimada, model & author of Mixed Feelings

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"Self-care to me is a malleable term. At its base level, it means I'm listening to my body/mind and trying to feel what it yearns for in that moment in time. That differs from day to day, but generally it means I’m getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, exercising regularly and eating as well as I can. But I also think of the term 'self-care is a radical act,' which was coined by esteemed Black feminist thinker and writer Audre Lorde as a challenge for collective survival—that choosing to love ourselves as we are in that moment in time, in a world that makes so many people (especially Black, people of color, queer, and the generally marginalized) feel unloved was in itself a life-saving, radical act."

How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"I think the term has become a solace to so many people who feel like trying to climb up and fall down the capitalist ladder has depleted them financially, emotionally and physically. These ideas around 'self-care' become the small thing that they can do for themselves that helps them get through the day. I can totally see the importance in that, but sadly, it just shows once again how the capitalist structures that are embedded so deeply into our lives create the problem, and then try and sell you back the solution."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"I am currently getting through this by trying to just take it day by day, by focusing on taking care of my own health, and trying my best to serve my immediate community around me. Other things that have been helping me get through: caramelizing fruit; doing Latin dance workouts on YouTube; blasting The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill on my daily house cleans; binging High Fidelity; reading Adrienne Maree Browns' Emergent Strategy; doing long phone calls with all my favorite elders who help put what we’re going through in perspective for me. I’ve also been helping to raise funds for my local hospital to get supplies to medical workers and nurses."

Lauren Ash, founder of Black Girl In Om

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"Now and always, self-care absolutely signals self-preservation—self-preservation of my consciousness, body, energy, time, and other resources. One can consider the question: what is sacred within me, and about me? And how may I honor and more consciously hold that as such? Interestingly, the 'self' in self-care is always inextricably linked to the collective. I really appreciate one of my spiritual teachers, Rev. angel Kyodo Williams, for always reminding us of this. She affirms that if one of us is unwell, none of us are well. The care and healing work we do individually, done with intention and integrity, will always bless the collective." 

How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space?

"I feel like it has watered down the healing potential of millions of people. I believe that it has messed with folks’ consciousness and lots of people need healing from the way that self-care has been promoted to them, and how, as a result, they have stepped into it."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"Currently, my self-care looks like: morning journaling where I get real with myself about my needs, how I can focus on giving myself those needs first, and how I can create sustainable boundaries and communicate them with others while detaching from the expectation that they can show up for me in the ways that I need. It looks like ancestral healing and consciously interrupting patterns of dysfunction within my ancestral line through therapy, spiritual work, and reparenting myself. It looks like daily walks in the fresh air, moving my body in a rather intense two-week shred program, and slow-moving breaths during meditation each day. It looks like saying no when it’s not a full-bodied yes. It looks like a lot of compassionate structure because this year, I’ve learned that in structure, I thrive."

Elizabeth De La Piedra, photographer

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"Self-care to me means creating time for yourself to enjoy something that is innately comforting to you."

How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"It’s gross. This used to be a genuinely fun and innocent concept centered on the individual and the cute thing about sharing it publicly was this sort of sisterly, sleepover secret bond it gave our community. Now every time I see the term, it is used to thinly veil an aggressive consumer campaign; it always tends to sadden me when I see the concept of sacred moments utilized in such a fake way."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"With the kids, homeschooling and work, it’s really hard to find much time. I really need moments of quiet, so I work with my partner so we each have an hour or two here or there to listen to a podcast in our room solo, or make a nice breakfast, and take myself 'out for brunch' while he watches the kids. I’m also really enjoying quarantine happy hours with my girls and the all the live DJ sets being streamed right now. All that stuff feeds my soul and that really is what self-care is to me."

Kelly Zutrau (Wet), visual artist, musician & model

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"It’s an idea that doesn’t come naturally to me, given how I grew up. A lot of the generation before us had almost the opposite attitude in life. My dad was in Vietnam and my mom grew up in a garage in Brooklyn with absent parents, four siblings and no running water; they both had a bit of a 'get by however you can' way about them when I was a kid. Coming from that, at first 'self-care' felt like a selfish or indulgent thing. But I do notice that people who look productive and healthy in life do seem to prioritize taking time for themselves, and I think that might allow them to be more giving and energetic. It's something I'm trying to do more myself!

I think that all the corny associations aside, it is a powerful idea in its basic form—a powerful way of physically acting out the idea of valuing yourself."

How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space?

"Even though it is tiring to see every single element of human existence capitalized on in some way or another, I think overall, the term becoming more widely used is a good thing."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"I’ve been doing it in some simple ways, like drinking more water and allowing myself to eat whatever I want—like, eating a lot of vegetables and fruit to feel good, but also with treating myself to an entire bag of oven fries at 2 a.m. because I just want to. I’ve been taking vitamins consistently which, in conjunction with drinking more water, has really improved my skin in the last couple weeks. Taking breaks from looking at my phone is a big one that really helps my state of mind. I’ve also been listening to a lot of Esther Perel talks, which has felt like free therapy for me right now. 

And in a big picture way, I’ve been trying to think of this time less as a stressful or difficult period and more of a very rare and kind of amazing chance to reset—to get in touch with my desires and my own internal clock for the day without the constraints that are normally there. I’ve tried to do whole days where I do exactly what I want at any given moment without the influences of friends calling or deadlines coming or the need to be productive at all times. It’s been really scary and painful to let go of those things even temporarily, but I think that it’s a good thing to have to go through. Hopefully, people are able to emerge from this with some new knowledge of themselves that can make normal life better when we go back."

Shydeia Caldwell, founder & CEO of Black Girl Magik

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"The term self-care for me means radical liberation through the act of caring for your well-being. I believe self-care is more than a concept, because it takes more than mental ideation—it also takes action, practice and sometimes even creative imagination."

 How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"I believe the commercialization of self-care is a reflection of the white counterparts and brands who take up the majority of that space. I witness many who utilize the term 'self-care' as a way to push products, and it is rooted in a place of privilege, disconnect, and capitalism. I believe most wellness spaces or brands don't speak to the experiences and accessibility of marginalized communities, thus creating disconnect in communities feeling as if they don't have a safe place to essentially partake in healing. These variations of self-care within the modern wellness space are not real or accessible. Until the majority of intentions within the modern wellness space intentions are rooted in radicalness, then it's not self-care—it's what I call performative capitalism."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"Currently while in quarantine, I am practicing even more gentleness with myself and flowing through each day. By not relying on time schedules to be a reflection of productivity, I am honoring my body, mind and soul. I love to partake in activities like: cleaning my face daily with B Free organics and doing natural at-home facials with Golde; sessions with my therapist; cuddling with my cat and girlfriend in bed; watching Oprah's vision tour on YouTube; listening to my favorite podcasts interviews and house music on Spotify; taking long baths with Fur bath drops and lit candles; spending time with my girlfriend and eating delicious home-cooked meals. Believe it or not, a portion of my self-care comes from creating radical healing spaces through my company Black Girl Magik and our Black Girl Magik meetups. Black Girl Magik spaces are rooted in ritual, self care and ceremony cultivated by and for Black women and girls. Any Black girls reading this: feel free to sign up for our newsletter to attend a virtual BGM Meetup soon."

Brittany Josephina, co-founder of Black Girl Magik

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"I define self-care as taking ownership of your life through protecting, preserving and nourishing your energy, space and ultimately, yourself. Humans are relational beings. We exist deeply in relationship to the world around us. We are in relationship to work, to lovers, to friends, to family, to food, to music, to essentially all things. Now, the quality of those relationships may vary, but it doesn’t change the fact that a conversation is happening.

Self-care is about actively participating in that dialogue with yourself. How else will you know the depth of your present truths, feelings and experiences? How else can you know your needs, wants, likes and dislikes? The practice of self-care should offer room for honesty, vulnerability, self-awareness and reclamation. We exist and belong deeply to ourselves. My personal mantra I created for self-care is: Protect your peace. Get rid of toxicity. Cleanse your space. Cultivate love."

How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"I think the way self-care is commercialized within modern wellness spaces is a mere reflection of how capitalism permeates throughout modern society. Commercialized modern wellness also still amplifies the voices and experiences that are systemically prioritized in western society. This is shifting in real time.

I think it’s important to note that people come to wellness not just to feel good in a general sense, but also from feeling unwell due to the weight and effects of systems that aren’t built for them to feel well. Thus, modern wellness needs to advocate for nuanced care and diverse resources for folks who are not totally represented in wellness. This includes Black communities, non-Black POC’s, LGBTQ, disabled, folks of different classes and other equally important communities I haven't highlighted. All people deserve a right to cultivate and receive care."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?  

"At this time, I’m practicing self-care through reuniting with my love for journaling as a form of connecting with myself. I finally have enough time to deep dive into all of the thoughts, feelings and most importantly, the dreams that live inside of me. I’m also self-caring through appreciating silence, nature, music, my family and my girlfriend. I’m grateful to be with family at this time."

Sasami Ainsworth (SASAMI), musician

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"It’s something I have become more in-tune with as I’ve gotten older and have more to take on. Also, as I’ve gotten to know myself, I can sense more quickly when I’m losing my balance. There’s also long-term and short term self-care. For example, I've had eczema my whole life, and as I’ve grown up, I have learned certain triggers for flare-ups, like stress, sugar, and smoking. For my long-term self-care, I avoid those things, but sometimes we make exceptions for short-term wellness—like eating some damn cookies because sometimes you just gotta to get through the day."

How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"I think it’s probably like kale getting popular. Sometimes things that should just be a part of our general wellness only get attention by becoming a commercialized craze. I don’t think there is anything wrong with the concept of self-care being mainstream. I would guess the current growth in attention on self-care correlates with patriarchal structures, beauty standards, and societal norms breaking down. "

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"For me, caring for others and spending time with friends and family is important to my mental health, so I have been trying to FaceTime with as many people as possible—balancing staying connected, but also not spending too much time on my phone is the key. I have been making art, drinking water, dancing, reading and writing music. I’ve also been organizing my finances and finishing up my taxes—I think finances and other bureaucratic stresses can be self-care areas that doesn’t get talked about enough."

Shannon Maldonado, founder & owner of Yowie

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"For me, it’s about being nicer to myself. I used to define it by face masks and objects, but now it's just about giving myself space to just be without self criticism or comparison to others. I'd love for us to accept that it varies for each person. The homogenization of how we should feel, react to things, or handle stress due to social media is something that I hope will change in the future."

How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"At this point, the term 'self-care' feels so muddled and more of a marketing tool than anything. It feels similar to so many brands grabbing onto 'sustainable' as a virtue signal to the consumer, yet it often is just about profits and status."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"As a small business owner, I find that I am not always the best at taking care of myself. In the past, I'd constantly make excuses for why my time or health wasn't as important as moving my brand forward, or finishing up this one last important email or design file. Then I got sick three times this winter and realized my body was asking (read: begging) me to slow down.

While in quarantine, I haven't had a choice but to listen to that inner voice and take things at a slower pace. I'm still adjusting a month into self-isolation, but I am feeling more healthy and sleeping better than I have in a long time. My boyfriend and I are cooking every meal together and spending more time just getting to know one another. My version of self-care currently looks like reading long articles online, training with the Nike Training Club, and watching and reviewing movies from the Criterion Channel. I also have said no to many things while in here and allowed myself to be unavailable as I adjust to all that's happening. That part especially feels so good."

Salem Mitchell, model

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"Self-care for me means doing whatever I need to do to make myself feel the most happy and healthy at that time. There are times where self-care for me is spending time with loved ones, disconnecting from social media, eating healthier foods, going on a hike, or getting a facial. Other times self-care is sleeping in, crying, listening to loud music, drinking wine, or jumping on the couch."

How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"On one hand, I think the concept of self-care has positive intentions and being broadcasted on social media, in publications, and commercialized overall can be potentially beneficial. It may normalize and encourage the idea. However, on the other hand, it can be confusing because self-care can’t really be defined or spread to the masses in one form. We’re all individuals who have to tend to our individual needs."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"During this strange time, I’ve been very kind to myself. It was a bit of a back and forth at first. I felt like I needed to get a lot done. I thought I was going to be waking up super early, getting dressed up, exercising everyday, and cleaning every single inch of my house, but I’ve removed those pressures from myself and it’s actually made me more productive. My self-care has more so been about getting dressed up when I feel pretty and taking a day off from exercising sometimes because I don’t have to force myself to stay on an imaginary schedule. The only strong consistencies are doing my skincare routine everyday, reading a few chapters of a book each week to pull me away from all the screens in my house, and staying in touch with all of my family members."

Riya Hamid, visual artist & writer

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"I’m sure the term self-care was well-intended in its conception, but sadly I think it has adopted a more neoliberal approach intended for us to purchase more products or view ourselves in relationship to the capitalist framework itself. It’s all very insidious and very much a double-edged sword."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"Self-care to me is peering internally and asking myself if my needs are being met, if I’m synchronized with what my body and mind are telling me, receptive to difficult truths, but also acknowledging the need to be tender and compassionate—not just towards myself, but to others.

I believe self-care also means self-accountability. It means doing the gritty work of tapping into what’s really going on—why am I feeling this way, what systems are in place that keep me tethered to these unsettling feelings, and what can truly provide relief? For me, this looks like spending quality time in solitude—reading, watching selections from Criterion, focusing the best I can on my breathing, and doing the best I can to engage with those who are closest to me—because we are nothing without one another. We need another and always will, especially in times like these."

Miski Muse, founder of Skintellects

What does the term "self-care" mean to you? Do you believe in it as a concept?

"Lately, it has meant that I'm taking better care of my mental health as a result of everything that's going on. I am meditating more, I am reaching out to loved ones who fill me with joy, I am stepping out for fresh air in my backyard. It brings me peace of mind when I take care of myself and don't obsess over what is happening in the world every minute."

How do you feel about the way in which "self-care" has been commercialized within the modern wellness space? 

"I believe it has been entirely too commercialized and lost its true meaning along the way. I can't sit here and tell people what self care is vs. what commercialized self care is, but I like to stick to what feels authentic. I hope that people are able to find what works for them and not necessarily what they see on Instagram working for the next person."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"I like to think I am always in a state of self-care. It is a big part of my life that grounds me. No matter what kind of day I may have, I know I have a list of things that can calm me down. Recently, I've been making more at home masks, learning to braid, making playlists, writing, doing yoga everyday, and hanging out with my family. All of these things center me and are a part of my 'self care' routine."

Hellen Yuan, founder of HELLEN

What does the term "self-care" mean to you?

"To me, self-care is setting an intention to nourish my mental, emotional, and physical health through various methods that raise my vibration. When we are stressed, anxious or in fear, this affects our energy and lowers our vibration. Self-care could look like: setting boundaries against negative energy, creating space for yourself to be able to recharge, and staying in tune with your body's needs. Set forth deliberate actions to meet those needs."

How are you practicing or applying "self-care" into your own life at this current time?

"I wake up in the morning and put on my headset, listen to my sound bath from Dynasty Electrik, and with my eyes closed, I use my aromatherapy inhaler on each nostril, inhaling a deep breath of beautifully scented oils. I make a daily tonic juice in the morning, drinking different colors throughout the week to give my body vitamins from a natural source of vegetables and fruits. 

I focus on making colorful, whole foods, and go on regular walks and hikes. In the middle of the day, when I am working, I go into the backyard and stretch or sit to meditate in the sun for five minutes. In the evening I listen to my sound bath again, and end each day with the inhaler."